Writing a Sonnet: Made Easy?

Sonnets

I am by no means a poet but I do appreciate the occasional sonnet. A recent article on The Good Men Project website inspired me to try my hand at writing sonnets and promises that “It’s cheap, it’s shockingly easy, and it’s disproportionately impressive.” Noah Brand, the author of the article explains that a sonnet is composed of fourteen lines of iambic pentameter…no problem, right? I won’t go into the other instructions but if you don’t know the ins and outs of sonnet writing, read the article for more information.

Although Mr. Brand says that it’s so easy and that he can even write sonnets drunk, I found it a little more difficult. I decided to write a sonnet to my significant other about my disappointments from Valentines Day. We usually don’t do anything for Valentines Day, which is fine with me. However, this year I had cooked a nice meal for us but I had to go run an errand at the last minute before dinner. When I came home, my husband had eaten all of the food without me (he was really hungry). Granted, he thought that I had said to go ahead and eat, thinking that I had already eaten, but still I ended up eating yogurt and granola on Valentines Day.

Here is my attempt at writing a sonnet:

Alas, of Valentines you do no celebrate,

The day’s loves come and pass.

No roses to expect, no box of hearts I do await,

And didst without me thou eat the night’s repasts?

Since I am obviously so bad at sonnets, I am only giving you one verse. I’m pretty sure I missed the “ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM” of it (see article). Ergo, I could use your help with improving the one verse I did write (above) and the ten lines I’m missing. Feel free to fill in the gaps by sending your suggestions via comments.

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