The 10 Minute Artichoke



So here you are. You went grocery shopping on Saturday thinking that you would be adventurous, you’d try something new. So you bought an artichoke. Good for you. But now you have this weird green pine cone thing that looks more like a weapon than an edible product. And you have no idea how to cook it. And when you do look it up, you find out that this spiny creature takes 35 minutes to cook on the stove. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

So what now?

You cook that bad boy in the microwave, that’s what. Here’s how:

Time needed: 9-12 minutes for cooking

What you will need:

  • 1 Bad ass looking artichoke
  • 1 microwave safe dish that can contain all that badassery
  • Water
  • Mayo or butter or whatever you want to dip it in

What to do:

  1. After you have washed the artichoke, take the artichoke and place it in a microwave safe dish.
  2. Fill with water half way up the artichoke.
  3. Put it in the microwave for 3 minutes.
  4. When the timer goes off, turn the artichoke and put it back in the microwave for another 3 minutes. Be careful, it’s really hot.
  5. Repeat step 4 either once or twice more. (I usually stop at 9 minutes, but I’m also impatient)
  6. Drain the vegetable and put it on a plate.

How to eat it:

  • Pull off some of the bottom leaves, say in the first 2 rows. These usually aren’t worth the effort. You can eat them, but there isn’t really any meat on them.
  • Start with a leaf. Scoop it with the base of the leaf it in your sauce (I prefer just plain old mayo)
  • Put the leaf halfway into your mouth, sauce side up. Bite down, but not too hard, this isn’t a carrot people. Scrape out the meat with your teeth.
  • Continue to eat the leaves until you get to the center. You will know it’s the center because the leaves are translucent and look more like a flower. 
  • Pull off the “flower” leaves, and you will notice a hairy center. Scoop it out with a spoon. DO NOT EAT IT, IT WILL MAKE YOU SICK. Just don’t.
  • The rest is the artichoke heart. You can eat this now, or save it to make with something else that calls for artichoke hearts. 

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